tube of wonderful (tubeofwonderful) wrote,
tube of wonderful
tubeofwonderful

  • Mood:
  • Music:

taking a myspace break again--

Blank today--

Today was the wake-- well 2 years ago today... Just remembering the feeling of waking up, realizing I didn't have a suit, and slapping some semblance of attire together-- and being 20 minutes late... I was late to my best friend's wake-- which i guess was true to form... The Gretinas got a chuckle out of it, so I guess it was worth it... But I felt awful...

2 years ago tomorrow, I walked my best friend down the aisle... Not the way we had originally intended of course... I had hoped (and i told him this to no end) that he would be my Best Man at my wedding... I had it all at that point. A beautiful girlfriend who blended so well with my friends and family, and someone who without a doubt was loved by my best friend... He was the only one capable of telling those "I remember when Rich told me about the first time he met Lauren..." stories...

...in an IM I told him I was in love... He was so excited... And a short time later, he met a girl, and sent me a message saying he was happy-- "Lopez and Lauren Happy"--

That's the way we rolled... Always using eachother as a frame of reference... A lot of people didn't understand the dynamic-- And another lot understood us perfectly...

He was the The Superman to my Batman-- I was a dark and brooding guy until he came along... And he brought me out of my shell... Like a bolt of lightning almost 10 years passed... And at the same time, I remember every moment-- Every second-- Every fight-- Every Hug-- Especially the last one...

2 years...

7 days ago, I met Nick at Rhodie's-- So much fun... for whatever reason, I was having a shitty week and he brought me back to that good place like he always does... My pacifier... I don't know how he does it-- He told me he was home for the weekend... We were gonna just hang for the next 3 nights... Wedding Crashers was out on Friday...

5 days ago I called him, b/c he was nowhere to be found-- He had been asleep for almost a day... He told me he was tired... Weird... He told me he'd call me about that night... He never did...


4 days ago I was on my way to work, and Nicky asked me to cut work to hang with him and Meg. I couldnt cut work for whatever reason... So he came to see me...

...Bugging me at work to come hang out... He was gonna buy the Dualdisc of Toby Keith's "shockin y'all", and then we got into a debate concerning the validity of the Dualdisc format-- He won, stating that 2 formats for the price of one was enough for him... He gave me the biggest hug in the world-- I introduced him to a few people as my "hetero-man-life-mate." And then I got called over to another part of the store. I said "see you in a bit..." Without saying goodbye he was out the door-- and i went to my buddy Danny and asked, where's my friend? he said "He went home..."

3 days ago My Best friend went home...

He calls me every now and then... he stops by and puts his hand on my shoulder, and gives me the biggest hug in the world... and then he takes off...

2 days ago my chest hurt and I couldn't speak...

1 day ago I forgot to get a suit...

Today I was late to my best friend's wake... Tonight I'll raise a glass at Rhodie's... Keith will walk up to me and tell me how Nick told him that we'd all be here tonight hanging out... And I'll say "He was right"-- Ringwood friends, Wanaque friends, NYC friends, Concordia friends, Northern & Southern NJ friends, and Family...

It's karaoke night...

Tomorrow I'll walk him down the aisle... I'll complain about how my blazer is too small, and I'll get stuck in the door because all of us holding the casket is too much for the door frame... I'll walk outside afterwards to the nicest day I'd seen in Years... I'll put him in the car... I'll touch the glass of the rear window...

I'll say "See You Soon, Nicky"

Tomorrow night I'll sit with friends... I'll forget to study for my history final...

2 years ago...

I went to China, learned about peace... Less than a month after coming back, I had to learn all over again...

2007--

Today I'm writing this down...

Today I miss him, but I'm comforted by the fact that he lives on in my heart, and in the eyes of my loved ones... They are my heart... They keep me going...

Nick visited me, and told me that I couldn't go see him until I did what I had to do...

And I aint done-- It's an 80 year list...

Love you, Brother...

Sorry this went on so long...

Call me anytime...

~Lopez
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 0 comments