Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in tube of wonderful's LiveJournal:

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Friday, January 23rd, 2009
2:13 am	Up Late... Woke up on the couch again, and my thoughts are insane... I can't get the echoes of the past out of my mind sometimes... When I go to sleep, sometimes I dream... Other times, when I close my eyes, I see slideshows of every failure, every disappointment, every missed opportunity... I have no regrets, but when I sleep I do... Does that make any sense? Awake, I take control, I win, and I succeed... But when I go to sleep, that's when I fail... I dunno, maybe that's just my subconscious telling me I have unfinished business... Or perhaps, when i see all these things in my dreams, it's fate's way of telling me that I still have time to right these wrongs... I'd like to think that something is trying to steer me towards making my life right... That the Checks & balances dept. in my brain is going through past transactions, and making me accountable... I dunno, like I said before, what it all means... I would like to close my eyes though, and see all the good I've done, all the time i haven't wasted, and all the opportunities I've seized... Good Night, buddy.... Current Mood: awake Current Music: Everybody's Working For The Weak - Hey Mercedes (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 8th, 2009
6:27 pm	End of 2008-- Enter 2009 Where was I? A year in notes to Nicky... Jan 28, 2008 11:27 PM Okay, so... New place. My place. Finally. I'm gonna miss the house, dude. Almost every memory of us is here... Sleep-overs, parties, secrets, dreams... you know the old saying, "if these walls could talk..." You don't realize what that means until you're cleaning house... I've structured the new place to almost match the setup of the old den... but I miss you as always... As long as I have that futon, I have a piece of our history... Love you Nicky-- Stop on in Anytime... ~Lopez Feb 17, 2008 8:34 PM Thanks for today... The stub and the CD are right in front of me as I speak... And for some reason I thought you had that CD the whole time, b/c of all the times you'd gone clepto on me... or the way my CDs never made it OUT of your Focus... I think today was my last slice of Skyline Pizza for a very long time... Packing is a never-ending battle... Sideways will be a lasting memory for me... Love you, buddy... I hope I make you proud... ~Lopez Mar 25, 2008 4:25 PM Dude. RENT. Lauren won a contest and I got to see RENT again for the first time in about 8 years... I swear I could hear you singing along to Santa Fe and La Vie Boheme.... I can't believe its closing in June... I guess all good things must come to an end-- "No Day But Today..." That is so You... Love you big, buddy... ~Lopez May 15, 2008 8:51 PM Dude. I keep clicking on and off and typing and deleting and I just can't do it anymore... I have to write to you... I'm turning 27 on mon, and I miss you. As young or old as I am, for more than 1/3 of my life I had you as my best friend and there's still so much left to say-- I know, right? Just when you think you've said all there is to say to someone, there it is... But that's the raw fuggin beauty of having you as my buddy-- The fact that there's always something to say... We never get old, and we never will... I love you, buddy-- and although I'm missing the hell out of you, I'm not wasting the time I have here pining for moments gone by, but living as hard as I can and filling up the book so I can tell you all about it when I get to where you are... We're gonna have a time, you and I-- Just wait a few more decades, buddy... Years for me, and minutes for you... Love you big, ~Lopez Jun 1, 2008 7:31 PM okay. random memory. you and i go down to rutgers to see erica beck-- i get hammered after a 2 bar run, and then you walk us down the street to get pizza-- then we go back to erica's and take a bunch of hilarious photos-- most of which make me look like a fool-- Where are those? So much fun-- ~rLo Jul 27, 2008 6:35 PM Nicky-- I was looking for a word this whole weekend to wrap up how I feel and the only one I could find was either, "wow," or "whoa..." I know you'd probably be more of a fan of the latter, so I'm gonna go with "WHOA..." lol. Thursday I couldn't find the words to say, or any way in general to evoke, how I felt-- Thursday 3 years ago was the last day we exchanged "Back-Cracking" hugs to eachother, and I totally missed that, so on Friday when I woke up it was a total sense of rememberance, and I didn't know quite what was going on in my mind-- only that I severely needed that rainbow, or that butterfly, or that special breeze... And then Saturday morning, Isabel was born-- My first niece. Our first niece. She's an angel, Nicky, but you already know that. At first I was like, "Nicky never met this one-" But then I thought, "Nah, he probably hugged her on her way down to earth..." So, if you had anything to do with Saturday, thanks buddy... I love you, Miss you, and can't wait to see you again... Watch over my boys and this new little girl from there for me buddy, and I'll do my best down here... See you soon... Your Friend and Brother, ~Lopez Aug 20, 2008 9:55 PM Hey buddy. I was just thinking about you today-- You and I had a conversation about 3.5 years ago... i think it's about time I did some of that stuff we were talking about. Thanks for keeping me in check for so long... You always know when to smack me on the back of the head... Pass some thanks along to the Big Man for me-- Thanks for Sundays, and backyards and babies, for friends here and gone, for Life's little moments, for the quiet times between laughter, and for the promise of a new tomorrow... And while you're at it, thank him for you for me-- Augusts come and go, but this one is feeling like home... So thanks again for you know what-- --Here's to the next step. Love you Nicky, ~Lopez Nov 2, 2008 10:34 PM 363 days til the wedding, Buddy-- I can't believe it. It's still so amazing. I know you're stoked beyond stoked for us, and that you'll be present in one way or another... Just saw Izzie again today-- She's amazing, dude. I love being an uncle... These kids are such a blessing, and they remind me how a young heart works... In a way, they teach me the same lessons you used to... You are the perfect example of the young-at-heart guy... Miss you big time as always, and I'm hoping I'm doing right by you-- Much Love, ~Lopez As 2008 drew to a close, I hoped (as I always do) that I made Nicky proud of me... Here's to all that 2009 has to bring... ~Lopez Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: No One by Hero Pattern (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 29th, 2008
11:37 am	You're as old as you feel... You Act Like You Are 26 Years Old You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel like an adult, and you're optimistic about life. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. You're still figuring out your place in the world and how you want your life to shape up. The world is full of possibilities, and you can't wait to explore many of them. What Age Do You Act? getting younger... Current Music: Whose Authority - Nada Surf (Comment on this)
3:44 am	SO I'm Awake... Been so long since I posted anything on LiveJournal-- But appropriately enough-- usually anything I post on the MySpace page is just observations and this has always been the place for the personal stuff-- Lately I've been staying away from the personal stuff, but fuck it. I really just need to express some happy/sad/whatever feelings... lol. or lmfao... or whatever the kids are saying/typing these days. I have a niece on the way... For the first time in 11 years, a new addition to the immediate Fam-- bringing my niece/nephew total up to 3-- I'm stoked-- in a way I can't really express... I love being an Uncle, the way most enjoy parenthood or being a Yankees Fan-- I love kids, but really don't see myself wanting any of my own for quite some time-- And then here it comes.... "Oh, but Lopez, you'd be an AMAZING DAD!" I know. But that's not my thing-- Unclehood is the bomb, and if for any one particular reason, I get to participate in the raising of a child, while still maintaining the domicile and activities of someone who works WAY TOO MUCH... I don't want kids for the same reason I haven't bought a gaming system since SEGA's Dreamcast-- I really don't have the time for it, and I have other stuff I wanna do-- But back to the main topic-- I love the idea of finally having a niece-- Mom and Dad have a granddaughter-- which they've wanted greedily since my first Neph (Jason) was born-- haha... Lil Anthony (the younger) has been totally doting on my sis-- and that's awesome.... He'll be a good dad one day-- if that turns out to be his cup o' tea. As always, my thoughts go to Nick, who my nephews loved, no doubt more than me-- haha-- A few years back I asked them flat out who they liked more and they hesitated... I miss the big guy, b/c he would've gotten a kick out of having another "kid in HIS family." Nick would've been a great dad. A person like Nick's ability to put all others before himself would be the deciding factor in that statement. A kid would've been SO lucky to have him for a father b/c of the "Field of Dreams" of it all-- Playing catch, That first ballgame, explaining it all and naming all the players... It's funny, b/c even though it's not something I want for myself, I totally wanted it for him... In death there is rebirth, and in that, there is hope. Izzie (my new niece who is not yet born but already has a nickname) symbolizes that to me-- The idea of a new joy... My heart's been burdened by a great deal of things as of late and the thought of that new, innocent child and my nephews-- well, it just makes my heart lighter... I don't know if I am rambling as I usually do, but I can't help it-- It's the way my brain works. At any rate, I'll stop here. Awake, tired, and thinking. Here's to Big Nick. Current Mood: awake Current Music: May Holiday - Rose Elinor Dougall (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 15th, 2007
3:20 pm	(Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
10:11 pm	Current Music: Have Love Will Travel (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 8th, 2007
11:07 am	best myspace survey? or lamest blog ever? Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site</td> The Best Myspace Survey EVER! [[includes ur top8]] The Basics Name: Rich Age: 26 Bday: 5/19 Height: 5'9' Weight: 223 Nicknames: Lopez, Lopey, rLo, Mr. Richie Lo, Hair Color: Brown Luv it?!: Yes? Eye Color: Brown Luv it?!: I suppose I do... Any Pets? Name em.: Max (deceased) - Koti (given away, mom was allergic) Hometown: Da Wood (I guess is what we're calling it now) Where Were you born?: Queens, NY Are you awesome?: Through a series of scientific tests and theorums placed in the hands of the worlds greatest biologists-- My blood was found to carry the "AWESOME GENE" so yes. Favorites Color: Red, but I rarely wear it Place to Hang-out: Palisades mall-- b/c you could live there if you had to... Place: My Room Flower: Tigerlily Girl Name: Josie Boy Name: Max Store: Zapp! Comics Movie: wow. that's a hard one... Muppets Take Manhattan, probably... Tv Show: How I Met Your Mother Holiday: Christmas Song: At the moment? "Holiday" by Weezer... Or "Only in Dreams" Band: The Rentals Singer: Eddie Vedder Kind of Music: Alt Rock or Indie Book: The Dark Knight Returns, The Watchmen Saying: "I wish that was my girlfriend" (laced with sarcasm - coined by my gf in Jersey Gardens) Food: Mac and Cheese with cut up hotdogs (Nathan's) Soda: Vanilla Coke Zero Drink: Jack and Coke Tea: Lemon Zinger Cpu Brand: Apple Day Of the Week: Friday Month: May Number: 52 Clothes Brand: More Gap and Target than anything else... Cereal: gave it up... used to be Reese's Puff Cereal Resturant: El Bandido - Spring Valley Fast Food Resturant: Quizno's Disney Channel Movie: Newsies Your Top 8 1.: Nicky 2.: Lauren 3.: Lark 4.: Lissy 5.: Chris G. 6.: Turi 7.: Dave 8.: Mal How did u meet 8?: My GF's Sister Do u have fun with 3?: When I go to Boston, or she comes down here, yeah! Do u tell 2 all your secerts?: Every last one How long have you known 1: 9 and a half on this plane and 2 on the next Had 6 ever made u cry?: when he started painting clouds... Would 5 nd 8 make a cute couple?: Nope. Does 4 ever got on ur nerves?: Never. Even though She's my lil sister.... Are you related to any of them?: Nicky's my Brother from another mother, same with chris and lissy. Mal's my friend in law, like a sister to me... Do you go to school with number one?: High School and Some college How about number 6?: College What does 3 call u [[nickname-wise]]?: Lopey Do you secertly hate 7?: No... Do you love everyone on your top 8?: More than Most... Your Perfect Partner <3 (PS-- I Already Met Her) Color Eyes: Brown Color Hair: Reddish Brown Any piercings?: Not too many Any tatoos?: Totally- Especially Heart on the arm! Romantic?: Yes Drunkard?: Only after the 3rd drink... Lol Has Money?: Enough to support my borke artist ass! Sweet?: Yeah, but with a strong jab. Poetic?: Yes. What will be his/her talents: To keep me grounded... And always know what to say... You're the best... Well that completes it for me-- no more Surveys... Current Mood: awake Current Music: whatever my ringtone is... (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 28th, 2007
10:23 am	taking a myspace break again-- Blank today-- Today was the wake-- well 2 years ago today... Just remembering the feeling of waking up, realizing I didn't have a suit, and slapping some semblance of attire together-- and being 20 minutes late... I was late to my best friend's wake-- which i guess was true to form... The Gretinas got a chuckle out of it, so I guess it was worth it... But I felt awful... 2 years ago tomorrow, I walked my best friend down the aisle... Not the way we had originally intended of course... I had hoped (and i told him this to no end) that he would be my Best Man at my wedding... I had it all at that point. A beautiful girlfriend who blended so well with my friends and family, and someone who without a doubt was loved by my best friend... He was the only one capable of telling those "I remember when Rich told me about the first time he met Lauren..." stories... ...in an IM I told him I was in love... He was so excited... And a short time later, he met a girl, and sent me a message saying he was happy-- "Lopez and Lauren Happy"-- That's the way we rolled... Always using eachother as a frame of reference... A lot of people didn't understand the dynamic-- And another lot understood us perfectly... He was the The Superman to my Batman-- I was a dark and brooding guy until he came along... And he brought me out of my shell... Like a bolt of lightning almost 10 years passed... And at the same time, I remember every moment-- Every second-- Every fight-- Every Hug-- Especially the last one... 2 years... 7 days ago, I met Nick at Rhodie's-- So much fun... for whatever reason, I was having a shitty week and he brought me back to that good place like he always does... My pacifier... I don't know how he does it-- He told me he was home for the weekend... We were gonna just hang for the next 3 nights... Wedding Crashers was out on Friday... 5 days ago I called him, b/c he was nowhere to be found-- He had been asleep for almost a day... He told me he was tired... Weird... He told me he'd call me about that night... He never did... 4 days ago I was on my way to work, and Nicky asked me to cut work to hang with him and Meg. I couldnt cut work for whatever reason... So he came to see me... ...Bugging me at work to come hang out... He was gonna buy the Dualdisc of Toby Keith's "shockin y'all", and then we got into a debate concerning the validity of the Dualdisc format-- He won, stating that 2 formats for the price of one was enough for him... He gave me the biggest hug in the world-- I introduced him to a few people as my "hetero-man-life-mate." And then I got called over to another part of the store. I said "see you in a bit..." Without saying goodbye he was out the door-- and i went to my buddy Danny and asked, where's my friend? he said "He went home..." 3 days ago My Best friend went home... He calls me every now and then... he stops by and puts his hand on my shoulder, and gives me the biggest hug in the world... and then he takes off... 2 days ago my chest hurt and I couldn't speak... 1 day ago I forgot to get a suit... Today I was late to my best friend's wake... Tonight I'll raise a glass at Rhodie's... Keith will walk up to me and tell me how Nick told him that we'd all be here tonight hanging out... And I'll say "He was right"-- Ringwood friends, Wanaque friends, NYC friends, Concordia friends, Northern & Southern NJ friends, and Family... It's karaoke night... Tomorrow I'll walk him down the aisle... I'll complain about how my blazer is too small, and I'll get stuck in the door because all of us holding the casket is too much for the door frame... I'll walk outside afterwards to the nicest day I'd seen in Years... I'll put him in the car... I'll touch the glass of the rear window... I'll say "See You Soon, Nicky" Tomorrow night I'll sit with friends... I'll forget to study for my history final... 2 years ago... I went to China, learned about peace... Less than a month after coming back, I had to learn all over again... 2007-- Today I'm writing this down... Today I miss him, but I'm comforted by the fact that he lives on in my heart, and in the eyes of my loved ones... They are my heart... They keep me going... Nick visited me, and told me that I couldn't go see him until I did what I had to do... And I aint done-- It's an 80 year list... Love you, Brother... Sorry this went on so long... Call me anytime... ~Lopez Current Mood: blank Current Music: "Mrs Young" - The Rentals... (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 18th, 2006
1:26 am	taking a break from the "coolness" that is myspace/// or: taking a break from a fad I'm convinced that I should write in here, b/c my good buddy lark writes here alot still, and while I'm not one to do what other people do, she's a pretty good role model. That run-on sentence being completed, I'm super focused on making a difference in someone's life this week, particularly my own. I'm hitting a wall it would seem, and whether or not hitting a wall is good therapy for the soul or just a way for a kid between the ages of 12 and 17 to vent their anger, much to the dismay of the homeowner, is beside the point... I'm really going nowhere here. In this entry or in life in general... I have to sell paintings so that I can afford my simple semblance of an existence somewhere-- somewhere far from here, and closer to my girl. She makes me smile, that girl of mine... I feel as though it is time for me to do what I always told Nick I would do-- and just so it comes true, I'm not telling any of you what I'm going to do. He knows and I know. I think we're good this way. As I listen to my iPod playlist of carefully selected Pearl Jam songs, I hear him in my head singing. Always singing. I love that boy. I'm missing things alot these days, and at the same time I'm comforted everyday by the fact that he's right here. All of the time. i don't want to miss my present b/c I'm thinking of the past, but at the same time I don't feel that my daydreams of my 9 3/4 year friendship hurt anything. i know that time waits for no one... anyhoo, this one's getting long-- there, Larky, I did one... ~RLo (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 28th, 2005
12:59 am	REPOST:::::"See You Soon":::Originally from 7-26-2005 This is a post from the day after Nick passed on-- Nothing in it has changed, save the fact that I am learning more and more how much everyday I had with him was a lesson in how to be a better man... He was and is the example of what every man should be, and I'll always love him... That's about it-- So... After 4 months Nick, I'm still missing you... P.S.... Your sis and her "beau" did sumthin funny for ya... (not that you missed it, but they rule) And now.... Nicky-- He was my friend, when I thought I wouldn't have any... I met him in the very beginning of Freshmen year, 1995, and we're just coming up on the 10-year anniversary of our friendship... He was a great guy, always grinning from ear to ear with that big smile of his-- and every time I'd see him, I knew we were going to do something fun. Whether or not it was just going to the Lucheonette or the Diner over the years, anywhere we went was our new place... We were inseparable, anytime one of us was somewhere, everyone would ask where the other was... He just had this great outlook towards life-- his heart problem gave him that "appreciate every bit of life's little moments" attitude... He was my IMPROV partner for four years of HS-- Senior year we won best Improv pair... He was THE ACTOR, I was his goofy sidekick... I loved him for every moment we had-- He knew me better than anyone ever knew me, because he was like a brother and more-- My best friend... I always told him, that if he died, the only one I could ever talk to about it would be him... He saw it all... all my downfalls and triumphs, and I was there for him through all of the girlfriends, break-ups and other things that come with early adulthood... He was my best man... He is my best man... He was obsessed with James Dean, and I think it had something to do with his own outlook on life-- I don't think he ever expected to be around as long as he was-- So, everyday was a gift, and a miracle in itself... I appreciate all the time that was given us... He was a shooting star-- Shining Bright for just a brief moment, and then gone-- In his brief time here with us, he affected so many lives... and showed others the importance of taking advantage of being young and impetuous... always daring and never stupid, he took full advantage of every bit of every thing he could take part in... "Life's too fuckin short to always be responsible, always keep yer eye on the clock, an ear on the boss, and nose to the grindstone..... once in a while i want my eye to new adventures, my ear to the music, and my nose to the wind of 70 miles an hour in an area i have never been, probably never will again, but for the moment, it's the best place in the world, b/c im having great times with great friends u wont remember some unimportant dates or math equations, the names of random professors, or even the classroom u were in, but u will remember the night u and yer friends went somewhere, did something crazy, and exactly who was there" (11-19-2003) I love you brother, in this life and the next... Always and Forever, and Beyond Best Friends... Nicholas F. Gretina - (1980 - 2005) Current Mood: reflecting... Current Music: Rave on - Buddy Holly (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
11:45 am	about me-- deleted from Myspace-- but i still wanted to save it... TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF- The Survey Name Rich, AKA "LOpez", AKA "Lopey", AKA "the Awesome" Birthday May 19, 1981 Birthplace Queens, NY Current Location Ringwood, NJ Eye Color Brown Hair Color Brown, (what's left of it) Height 5'9" Left handed or Right handed both Your Heritage Puertorriqueno The shoes you wore today torn Chuck T's Your weakness Coffee Your fears Dying on my Ass Your perfect pizza More Ricotta than Tomato Sauce Goal you would like to achieve this year Live More... Your most overused phrase on i/m werd Thoughts first waking up Am I dreaming about being Rich Lopez, Or is Rich lopez dreaming about being me... Your best physical feature i can't say that... Your bedtime whenever I want... and I eat cake in bed too... Your most missed memory Any time Nick and I would get food... Pepsi or Coke poke! McDonalds or Burger King Checkers... or Wendy's... Single or Group Dates singles for the mambo, and groups for the food... Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea Less tea... Choclate or Vanilla vocolate Cappuccino or Coffee Cafe Au Lait Do you smoke Used to Do you swear Still do Do you sing Yes... all the time... Do you sower daily what's a sower? Have you been in love Still am... Do you want to go to college In it Do you want to get married Yes Do you belive in yourself is 5 days out of the week okay? Do you get motion sickness no Do you think you are attractive somewhat Are you a health freak no Do you get along with your parents yah Do you like thunderstorms yah Do you play an instrument guitar, piano, and stuff In the past month have you drank alcohol yes, in excess In the past month have you smoked no In the past month have you gone to the mall yes In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos no In the last month have you eaten Sushi no In the past month have you been dumped no In the past month have you gone skinny dipping no In the past month have you stolen anything no Ever been drunk YES Ever been beaten up no Ever shoplifted no How do you want to die Doing something Extraordinary What do you want to be when you grow up I can grow up more than this?? Artist... What country would you most like to visit China, again... In a boy/girl Favorite eye color brown or green Favorite hair color brown Short or long either Height 5'4" Weight doesn't matter Best clothing style rock music Number of I have taken n/a Number of cds i own LOTS Number of piercings 2 (taken out) Number of Tattoos 1 going on 4 Number of things in my past i regret nothing CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
11:26 pm	My Birthday Means I don't Like you... Your Birthdate: May 19 You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested. You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them. Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others. You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself. Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence Your weakness: Suspicion of others Your power color: Eggplant Your power symbol: Spade Your power month: October What Does Your Birth Date Mean? Current Mood: bitchy (Comment on this)
12:41 am	lyrics? I really don't know... Everything here is gone now Everyone i know has left me Wanting more of life i seem to get lost every time You look at me with those brown Eyes peering at me Through with this line of questioning Why am I still here? And where do I go from here? Where will you and I be When I am gone away from here Forever Maybe we'll meet again then again Maybe I'll never see you again So here we are now looking into old photo books spread out on your bedroom floor is so comfortable, the way things used to be when we would go out with each other and I would drink and you would drive me nuts with all these things you used to keep my head together we used to be the best of friends-- but now I feel like you are gone away from here forever more... this free verse seems to trattle on with me If you wanna go with me into that other place they'll never find us... so hang my picture on your walls remember things the mind forgets your number still inside my mind is reeling... I can't forget your name is on my mind forever more time is all I want the world to stop for just this once I want to hear you when I call you up you're never there-- I need you to come back... miss you man... (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 6th, 2005
10:38 pm	what is up with the lack of foil seal on my nesquik?? FIRST, they go and change their name, THEN they take away the foil seal of freshness?!?!?!?! i dont know what to do now... IT's MILK RIGHT??? DOESN'T IT REQUIRE THE SAME AMOUNT OF CARE??? WHAT IS GOING ON??? anyhoo... I'm tired... sleep is good... get paid this week... poop.... (Comment on this)
Monday, September 26th, 2005
10:51 pm	**** how long is life really? i have this whacked out theory that existence is cyclical-- that maybe when we die, we go through it all over again-- That would explain things like deja vu, and hearing the voices of loved ones long gone-- maybe every now and then we get a glimpse of that other reality... is it really that far fetched to believe that since time is relative, maybe it goes in cycles? I really want to believe that-- I was reading "Killing Yourself to Live" by Chuck Klosterman, and he had this cool theory that our plane of existence is actually purgatory, the waiting room to get to heaven-- those that are here the longest are the worst, and those who leave immediately are the greatest-- It makes sense-- in its own weird way... I just want my buddy back. (Comment on this)
Friday, September 16th, 2005
5:16 pm	MEMORY LANE Cleaning up my room is one of those things that always drives me down memory lane-- it's great-- I found a christmas card that a former high school crush sent me in the mail a while back-- this was particularly funny for three reasons: 1. I hadn't talked to her in forever 2. she had put in it one of those photo stickers featuring she and her beau on a boat in their bathing suits, with her boyfriend practically spooning her.... 3. I couldn't help but notice in the return address that she had appropriated her BF's last name?! I turn to Nick first of all when I pulled this out of the mailbox not recognizing the last name, and I say "Who the F*** is ____ _____?" He's like, did ____ get married?? So I open it up, And I'm like-- "WTF?? Nick, what kind of chick sends a christmas card to a guy who used to like her like YEARS ago, with a picture of her in a 2-piece, getting spooned by her man??" He's like, "her?" So he and I just died laughing in my driveway, get in his focus and haul it to the diner where we play phone tag wondering why it was we weren't invited to the wedding, even though I got a christmas card... Funny as all hell-- Well, I'm gonna go back to cleaning... Watching the Big Lebowski... Funny shite... (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 4th, 2005
11:34 pm	Sideways... Sitting in my bedroom, watching Sideways, makes me feel warm inside... Not because of anything in particular... Just being in a moment that reminds me of the last cinematic memory Nick and I shared... The night we got together to see Sideways I really had no interest in it-- I was having a rough week for some reason (which in comparison wasn't at all rough, compared to the last few) and I had no intention of going to see a movie about wine-- But Nick knew what I needed as always-- and I ended up loving the movie-- But it wasn't just that, the different conversations we had about life, and the future, and marriage, and kids, and every little thing about what people usually expect the future to hold-- we had all these talks before the previews even started-- we even talked about how movies that get rave reviews usually have Postal Service songs in their trailers... I'm missing him a lot right now-- because I know a lot of the things we discussed will never happen... And will at the same time-- when the day comes that I am engaged-- and there's a week until my wedding-- He and I are still gonna go to Napa, and have a moment together-- He told me-- he helped me pick out the first bottle of wine I ever gave my girl's parents... He showed me all he knew about wine-- and then told me I "gotta figure out the rest on [my] own"-- In a way this movie was a rite of passage-- I got to see what he had planned for me, and I felt good about the idea... With Nick I was never afraid to grow up, and old... And surprisingly, I'm still not... I'm actually starting to embrace it-- I look around, and I see this opportunity to live up to the image Nick had of me, when he would talk to other people-- I've found out, through Lark and Megan, and Nick's family, the high regard he always held me in-- "Brothers from different Mothers" I'm "gonna do great things..." I knew he loved me, but then I find out more and more each day from other people, and I just melt inside with this warmth-- and I know he's still with me-- helping me everyday-- helping me become the person I'm gonna be-- just like that... We always bounced life's questions off each other, and I can still hear the Q & A of life going on in the corner of my mind... Well, I'm gonna go back to watching the movie-- ~RLO (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
1:26 am	Age You Are 28 Years Old 28 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. What Age Do You Act? Current Music: "Dirty Harry" - Gorillaz (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:21 am	Life You do your best to remember, and you do your best to pick up whatever you have left and move on, and in some ways you never can-- sometimes, life is life-- I don't really know what all of it means-- but life is life-- Life doesn't suck, because that's all relative... My best friend was born without a valve in his heart... that sucks... but he made the best of it up until the end-- SO: LIFE DOESN'T SUCK-- and the things we normally think make our lives shitty don't-- WE DO Honestly, we are the only people who can form our lives and to blame it on outside circumstances or to blame it on other people is bullshit-- We are responsible for the turns and twists and rollercoaster feelings-- and we can control many things-- We control our reactions to our lives... and other people can't make them better or worse... we do. So I woke up today and I thanked him for the good times, and then i told him about the days events-- and even though I miss him, I know I'll see him soon... So i told him that too... Life is Life-- it has no opposite or definitive adjective to accompany it... werd Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: "O Green World" - Gorillaz (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
12:09 pm	ART FARTS and LAWN DARTS All work, with the exception of works on canvas must be framed properly and ready to hang, and not previously exhibited at the EEAC. Professional presentation, which means clean mats, frames, glass and plexi, improve the look of the artwork and will be considered in the judging process. Oils and acrylics on canvas do not have to be framed but must be wired for hanging and have all edges finished with the sides painted neatly, no staples or tape on edges. Why don't they just say, ALL "OLD PEOPLE ART" WITH NO SOUL WHATSOEVER-- I just love goldleaf frames, don't you? I hate galleries... (sorry, I really had nothing to write about lawn darts... EXCEPT THAT THEY RULE!!!) Current Mood: poop tastes funny Current Music: the creaking of library chair on my last day of school ever (Comment on this)